The Most Powerful Force On Earth
Written with the intention to open and uplift arms, hearts, minds and spirits, in love.
My spiritual influences are many, including: Christianity; (definitely Jesus, he’s my main man :-D) my parents; my family; my daughter; the Earth; the animals; friends; Tarot and other esoteric teachings that come from the ancient Egyptian mystery schools; some Gnostic teachings; some new-age; Yoga; Qi Gong (ancient Chinese movement medicine practise); my beautiful Muslim school friends, their families and most definitely my experiences of love in this lifetime and probably past lifetimes. But how to apply all that I’ve learned in my day to day life, there’s certainly been a few challenges or… opportunities to choose from… and if it hadn't been for some spiritual strength, I would surely have run away.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had some big revelations. I’ll describe them here and they may seem like minor things, in some ways they are but how I have experienced them internally has been the biggest revelation that I’ll try to describe. It started with a couple of dreams of people in my reality (dreams are very often a reflection of what’s happening internally). In the dream there was a male being kept silent, suppressing his deepest desires by a controlling and somewhat fearful feminine force. When I first awoke, I thought ‘Why is this happening to him?!’. But on deeper reflection I asked the question, why is this happening to the internal (Yang, action oriented, driving, passionate) masculine aspects of myself? What is this subtle fearful, controlling, manipulative aspect within my feminine (Yin, creative, intuitive) self? What is she afraid of? – Not being heard, not being seen, being down-trodden, being alone, being burned at the stake?! And what about him, why is the he in me afraid to express? - There’s a fear of being trapped and consumed by a force larger than himself that he feels he cannot control, fear of letting down others by not complying with their wishes, also a fear of being seen. Exhale. Wow, is all that really inside me?!
So next, I asked myself: ‘Where am I holding myself back from taking action on what I know intuitively to be true. Where am I procrastinating? I was putting off transitioning the family business to a social enterprise. Why? All the old fears of not having enough to share, having to hoard and keep close any small amount we had tenuously been able to acquire, let alone my family’s deeply ingrained thoughts on these issues stemming from the programmed inherited and societal ‘lack consciousness’ through centuries of war, competition, misaligned hierarchy, corruption and greed and don’t get me wrong, they are generous people!
Even though I had had countless nudges, dreams and synchronicities pointing me toward this path, I was still questioning. I didn’t want to go to work that day, I wanted to walk in the woods and soak up it’s magic. So, I brushed off the conditioned guilt and did just that. On return, feeling more fully filled up with the Earth’s supportive energy, I called our paralegal and talked through the options and what I felt called to do. Upon reaching agreement on the next step to take, I felt so much lighter, free and ‘aligned’. Like my inner feminine was saying thank god, he’s taken my heart-centred, advised action to support what I know to be true and what’s in the highest interest of all. My internal masculine in return receiving the flow of love freely, from the open receptive feminine within. It was like a merging, swirling, elated internal dance, it was ‘flow-state’, relief, feeling free to love. I found myself so filled up with the feeling of love, that tears brimmed in my eyes with love for my family, for my life and loved ones. I found myself visualising my dream life on the drive to work, my deepest desires and how that would look with everyone taken care of and fulfilled. Desires I hadn’t been allowing myself to feel for many months for being afraid that they couldn’t be realised. I tuned into the feelings within my body and I could feel that my desires were bringing vitality into my life; they weren’t some evil, tempting force to be ignored. The creative desire and love poured out of me effervescently and I felt so thankful for everything that had led me to this point. On my playlist Siobhan Wilson was singing: ‘It's not how big your share is, but how much you can share; It’s not what you've been given, it's what you do with what you've got’. Message received, loud and clear!
At work, I was on a mission, I knew what I had to get done and asked my Dad to keep his chit-chatty updates to 30 minutes (patience is another aspect of myself that I’m mastering). Thank goodness he did chat though, and told me again of a particular outstanding debt. In a flash I received what can only be described as a ‘download’. A simple restructure of the business that would consolidate our services, allow the debt to be paid off and increase income to cover our salaries and more. It was so simple, we were both taken aback, but it felt to me so completely aligned, the next piece of the puzzle falling into place. I’m convinced the thought came to me because I allowed myself to drop out of the fear of lack and of there not being enough and took action based upon that. The energetic blockage within had been removed. I then allowed myself to be filled up with love, believe whole-heartedly that I was worth my highest dreams and desires coming true which ultimately boiled down to having the freedom to express creatively, deep and free flowing mutual love, a happy family, fulfilment through being able to help others and security to support all this. I could feel the love flowing through my body, mind and spirit and that vibration allowed the next part of the story to unfold. Of course, there are still some residual fears and doubts internally and within the family but I know when I open myself up to feel ‘love’/’the holy spirit’/’alignment’/’rapture’/’flow’ all the traffic lights go green and doors open. I was feeling so excited as I often do, I rushed to tell the whole family and everyone I loved how much they meant to me and wasn’t it so amazing that dreams could come true! Haha; I wasn’t met with quite such enthusiastic responses, but I didn’t care too much, I knew deep within that I was being guided, supported and that it was the application of love that was the most powerful ingredient.
That night I had some other dreams, the first was telling me I didn’t need to seek externally for validation of this love, the feeling and the knowing was enough for trans-formative shifts to unfold. I looked back through my note book and I had scribbled a section from John O’Donoghue’s ‘Anam Cara (soul friend). He writes of ‘The Wellspring of Love’. He says: ‘If you find your heart has hardened, one of the gifts that you should give yourself is the gift of the inner wellspring. You should invite this inner fountain to free itself. You can work on yourself in order to unsilt this, so that gradually the nourishing waters bring in a lovely osmosis to infuse and pervade the hardened clay of your heart. Then the miracle of love happens within you. Where before there was hard, bleak, unyielding, dead ground, now there is growth, colour, enrichment and life flowing from the wellspring of love. This is one of the most creative approaches in transfiguring what is negative within us. You are sent here to learn to love and to receive love. The greatest gift new love brings into your life is the awakening to the hidden love within. This makes you independent, you are now able to come close to the other, not out of need or with the wearying apparatus of projection, but out of genuine intimacy, affinity and belonging. It is a freedom. Love should make you free. You become free of the hungry, blistering need with which you continually reach out to scrape affirmation, respect and significance for your self from things and people outside yourself. To be holy, is to be home, to be able to rest in the house of belonging that we call the soul.’.
Had I still been reaching out to ‘scrape significance’ – Agh! Yes, maybe I had, but I had expressed this internal love externally and surely that’s no bad thing especially when it is shown without the conditioned need for or expectation of anything in return.
In the weeks prior, I had also experienced the opposite. I had been triggered and hurt by an external experience and words expressed, which caused me to shut off feelings from this ‘wellspring of the heart’. The very same day, more negative experiences and consequences had found their way into my reality. By way of a constant reminder to reconnect to my internal wellspring, use my practises to increase my vibration, transform unhelpful thought patterns and fall back in love with life. O'Donohue's description reminds me of a Qi Gong movement that stimulates the Kidney 2 pressure point on the ball of the foot known in Ancient Chinese medicine as ‘bubbling spring’ bringing feelings of vitality, anti-aging (!) and increased energy within.
The second dream I had told me: ‘The Womb is Soloman’s Chamber’. Now I know that may sound insane to some, but I have been so intrigued by the energetic power of the womb chakra or the ‘Hara’ over the last year or so of yoga, qi gong and energetic practises. At times I can feel the swirling, pulsating resonance of energy within and I know that is my creative essence, my sovereign power. Upon further research I read that Soloman’s inner most temple also known as the Holy of the Holies was a sanctified, revered space where only the High Priest was permitted to enter and it’s said that sounds spoken within the temple were brought into manifestation (similar to the King’s Chamber in the Pyramid of Giza).
The dream was again highlighting to me the sacredness of sexuality and sexual creative energy that has been misused, abused, and misunderstood for so long over the centuries by both men and women. It’s not a force to be used to tempt, to control, to withhold, to give away to any old person for cheap thrills or to dominate but it is a sacred pool of light within that can be used to create… life of course, but not only children. It is the source of vitality, of life-force as yoga teaches. When honoured and aligned with the power of love; mountains can move, miracles can happen and healing can spontaneously occur through the resonance of this energy centre synchronised with the Earth itself. I've read of these concepts for the past few years but to experience a taster of how this feels within is wonderful and moving. Womb wisdom... the body knows.
I hope this blog sheds light where it’s needed and I was drawn to the following passage from the New Testament of the Bible which I perceive to mean that when we hold the intention of the highest good for all and follow through on our own true intuitively guided, heart-led actions: gifts are bestowed; healing can occur; miracles are magnified, and the path is shown.
Matthew 13: 9-16: Whoever has ears, let them hear. The disciples came to him and asked, ‘Why do you speak to the people in parables?’ He replied, ‘Because the knowledge of the secrets of heaven have been given to you, but not to them. Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. This is why I speak to them in parables: ‘Though seeing they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: ‘you will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn and be healed’.
Heather Gweneth Bird Thomson