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She


She awaited awhile, pacing somewhat, her ears pricking each time she heard the rumble of far off galloping horse hooves or soft whickering. Her mind playing over the last words she had written, embodying the Goddess Ishtar’s evil eye, throwing light on his dark wounds. She, now living in her feminine power outgrowing the rose-tinted fabrications she had told herself extrapolated from his vague murmurs, he himself too much in fear of choosing the wrong path. Her intuitive faculties more tuned in than ever before, she could sense inauthenticity a mile off. Her illumination, she knew had triggered his shadow and his shame, and would take time to integrate, to make sense of and this time she took as a gift. Over the last six years, she had embarked upon an initiation, a descent of the soul to reclaim the seven keys of ancient goddess magic and insights through powerful rites of passage that plucked on the strings of her soul, untangling knots that had kept her bound. As her energy and remembrance began to rise, spiralling heavenward with her own self-worth. Looking back, she, at times couldn’t comprehend why she had let herself be shackled in the shadows of low self-worth for so long. She held no resentment and each day worked to clear any heaviness around her chest that could sometimes linger, using her ancient practises passed down from wise ones before. She held a higher perspective that her descent had been necessary in order to reclaim the lost parts of her soul essence, likely fragmented through hundreds and thousands of years of separation through dominating religious and societal doctrine. Cutting her off from the cosmos, from the earth, from sisterhood, from her love, from her strength and her interconnectedness with all that is. Her descent had stripped her bare of all previous identities, without masks to hide behind and brought forth all her fears of abandonment, isolation, unworthiness and lack. And yet the more she let go of, the more unexplained synchronicity would present and the more she would connect with true soul sisters and supportive guides on her path that popped up feeling like the missing pieces of a scattered jigsaw. Each one a vibrant healer, sorceress, artiste or emissary reminding her of these own traits within herself she had discarded earlier in life or past-lives.

Her token of love from him four years before, a mysterious time keeping device embossed with the ancient double infinity sign, a double eight, a constant reminder of the infinite spiral toward wholeness; the descent, the ascent and the crucial balance point of integration. Two wholes on their individual journeys side by side. The device had ceased to function a year before but like shifting dimensions, curiously had clicked back to life with the power of the recent blood moon eclipse. Whenever she was tugged into old unhealthy patterns seeking externally for validation, for love or for sustenance, it reminded her to go within where this wholeness of connection could always be found. And through this renewal of strength from within, her driving life force could be focused, channelled and directed toward any challenge or obstacle presenting as a barrier to her peace of mind, to her fulfilment, to her freedom and her joy. With this focused and heart-felt intent she found she could transmute and transform archaic narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies that society had created around her whilst managing her father’s estate. Having been almost paralysed in fear of the challenges ahead and lack of self-belief a few months prior, her fears were diminishing, taking each day step by step, she was being provided for. And in asking for support through prayer and contemplation, brilliant heart-led others were appearing in her reality, illuminating the steps she should take, known to her by their truth in resonant vibration. Each one she felt was guiding her toward self-mastery and sovereignty. Her effectual fervent prayers emanating from a place of righteousness, always seeking and asking for the highest good for all.


Potential suitors would present at times and although offering support, companionship and societal status, her focus remained for now upon her own wholeness, sovereignty and her purpose to uplift herself and others surrounding her. She had been guided in meditation that this was her King’s purpose also, although until and only if the clouds surrounding his well of dreams chakra dispersed, his part to play would remain undercover under the guise of something else and behind masks of old collective norms. At times they would still meet in dreams, savouring each moment not knowing when the next opportunity would present, on earth or in the higher spheres.


For her, the love she felt had stayed with her as an experience without measure. It’s magic like no other, she was powerless to prevent the formless flow of heart light that reached out in love to him. She knew that between those that loved, there was only an ethereal mist that could travel through space and time; spiritually united even if physically apart; nothing could stop the unfathomable infusion of desire fuelled by the wish to be close, always. So powerful, it spurred her ever forward, challenged her limited mindset, opening her to perceive all of life through the eyes of love and ensuring that she wholly encompassed herself within this divine gift of love. It drove her forward to find meaning and purpose, to deepen her connection with spirit, to examine her inner self closely, compassionately holding closely each splintered fraction of herself that shied away from it’s light. She knew her love story was a never-ending journey of spiritual growth toward wholeness, ‘to yoke’ all parts of herself and all parts of her life into oneness, she was ever in awe and gratitude. She trusted now, in the cycles like all things in the natural world and could go with the flow of life with more ease and grace; practising non-attachment; distilling and purifying her energetic footprint by allowing her memoirs to evaporate, unlading sacks upon shoulders, lightening vibrations. She sensed they willed each other on, even in silence.


Of course, in miracles she still believed and as described in the myth of Ishtar ‘the maker of Kings’ she understood Kings could only be initiated into spiritual maturity by traversing the underworld through their own soul’s descent, ascent and reclamation of power. The number eight on her token symbolising the ‘star of Ishtar’ and the cyclic journey of lovers completing lessons through each seasonal gateway on the Wheel of Eight. Through her own descent into darkness with life not fully matching up to all desires, she learned ever more to surrender to a higher power and to the unknown. Where the time/space limits ceased to exist and where with heightened perception the truth became light, became known. She was returning with true knowledge of what filled up her soul, and with unwavering faith that her highest dreams could be realised by maintaining her heart felt wish for the highest outcome, emotional fulfilment, acceptance and contentment for all.


She was named after the Egyptian Goddess of love, joy and transformation after-all and he, the Maiden’s Knight of the Round Table…

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