3 Steps to Healing a Broken Heart
Have you ever had your heart broken? It fucking hurts. A lot. I had sadly broken a few in my journey through relationships in my teens and 20s, which was never a pleasant experience, but mine was relatively unscathed and intact and to be honest, probably a bit full of itself! Up until about 2013. Then I broke mine, over and over again, repeatedly, for years, until it was really very open. I say I broke my own because it wasn’t anyone else’s fault, it was, I believe, part of a divine plan to bring me back to wholeness, to allow my masks and programmes to drop away, to allow me to step more into my true essence and crucially, push me to gain spiritual and energetic insights. I was so determined to grab on to the love that I found, which was so unbelievably divine and like nothing I had ever experienced, that I would push and strive and grapple to hold on to it and in doing so, not only would I push this love away, but I would also put myself in situations and circumstances that were not in alignment with my authentic, true and loving self. Over-giving of myself, and not listening to that intuitive voice inside. And my goodness, would I know it and so would he, when this rage (with myself) would rise up each month with the full moon’s magnetic energy pulling buried emotions to the surface as it does the tides. Of course, I would direct this outward instead of breathing deeply and realising that it was myself I had to work on (sorry about that…). My emotional turmoil would impact my health. In 2015, I got (metaphorically speaking) a slap in the face, a punch in the guts when reality, instead of fantasy was presented to me, but I couldn’t just turn the love and my habitual responses off and so instead of going with my initial, intuitive guidance, I second-guessed myself, over-gave and brushed it aside. About a year later, there was a second big slap in the face, punch in the guts, well, the universe doesn’t mess around with you when you don’t listen. Both times, I was struck down with serious infections and as ill as I’ve ever been… breaking open. The last time it happened, I was really broken, if you’ve ever heard the phrase ‘dark night of the soul’, well, I was there. My whole body was in pain, and I wanted to escape from myself. I cried out loud to God, to the Universe, to my late Grandparents, whoever was there to hear ‘What do I do to stop this pain?!’. Within seconds I heard: ‘Train with Dawn, train with Cameron.’ I know it probably sounds a bit wanky to say ‘I heard’ but I’ve since had further meditative experiences, where when the conscious mind is quiet, I ‘hear’ rather than ‘think’. Dawn, is a Life Coach and Cameron, is a Yoga Teacher and Reiki Master, I’d come across both thanks to the wonderful world of FaceBook, for all its pit-falls. And so that’s what I did, not immediately, but over the course of the next year, I trained in Dawn’s life coaching methods and I undertook Reiki 1 and now Reiki 2. Thirdly, I had a series of mad out-door adventures, some alone and some with my kindred-spirit cousin, camping in the wilds, climbing up mountains and wild-swimming. Over the subsequent months, I became more whole in myself, not looking to fill ‘love-gaps’ through another, standing more firm with my convictions and feeling lighter and lighter of heart. It’s not like the love goes away, it’s still there and I’m sure always will be, but in finding more balance within, I know more fruitful experiences will come in the future, where I don’t lose hold of myself through a powerful connection with another and I wholly trust in Lila (Sanskrit for Divine Play). I’m actually so thankful for my broken heart in allowing me to grow into more of who I was always meant to be. So, if you want to feel better or know someone that would like to, my three tips for healing a broken heart are:
1. Get outdoors and I don’t just mean walking to the supermarket although that’s a good start! Nature, Gaia, this wonderful home where we live is so healing, supportive and in ‘being’ in nature’s inherent balanced ecosphere, we start to synchronise with her energies and bring ourselves back into balance physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually (energetically). This is definitely the first step, before you can process anything else, just ‘be’ in nature, regardless of the weather.
2. Work on balancing your own energy. We are all made up of Yin and Yang energy, Shiva, Shakti, Masculine, Feminine, no matter what sex we are. By adopting a regular practice such as yoga, meditation, pranayama or working with Reiki energy, we can find this balance within and we become less dependent on others to prop us up. The key is that it needs to be regular and it takes more than just stretching out our muscles, these are powerful practises that over-time change our physiology, synaptic connections and allow our electro-magnetic bio-fields to be powerfully enhanced.
3. Get to know yourself through inner child work, deep work with your own psyche, and once you know yourself more completely, change your inner script. We’re all running programmes from family, schooling, society, etc no matter how supportive an upbringing you may have had. Create your own programme that takes you where you want to go, use affirmations and slowly work on releasing your fears and blocks one step at a time. A good coach can help with this process.
I write this wee blog in the hope that it may help anyone else who finds themselves struggling. Please share if you know someone who may benefit. And feel free to give me a call for a free coaching consultation if you’d like to delve deeper.